What’s going on my mind

À lot of things are going on my mind but nothing I want to write about. And it makes me anxious. I used to be passionate about writing, filling notebooks after notebooks with ideas, diary entries, novels. It used to be a way to keep my mind clear, to express my feelings, to put a word on how I feel, help me understand my behavior and now, it doesn’t happen. It’s like a chore, I can barely write a page without being impatient and I almost never come back to any post pending… And it scares me.

Is it a phase? Is it my new way of life? I don’t know but it’s really not reassuring.

Have any of you ever gone through something like this?

Into This New Year

Today is the last day of December.

A lot has happened. A lot has changed. And as I’m still breathing, a lot has yet to come.

As always, New Year’s Eve has a nostalgic feel, it’s bittersweet.

This year, I’m not attending any festivities. A few appetizers and a glass of champagne when my family gets back from church and that’s it for me. I will not go to church nor will I be partying. But what I really want to do and will do is pray my way into this new year.

From 11h50 or 11h55 till after midnight, I will be praying. Probably reading scriptures, singing, praising, worshipping, asking for blessings, etc… If you’re not dropping a lot of Ave Marias or doing a specific prayer, well, 6 to 11 minutes is a long time to be praying to be honest, because most of the time, my personal prayers can easily end before 10 minutes.

I decided to do so after I watched a video of Nappyfutv saying that she’d be doing the same and encouraging her subscribers to do so. And I thought, wouldn’t it be a wonderful thing if even 1% of those watching did that, it would be like a chain, like we’d all be holding hands and beginning this new year together with Jesus. A little family reunion. Our words, languages wouldn’t be the same but all of our souls would be walking in the same direction, towards the Father, with the Son and probably under the Holy Spirit’s influence. And this is a great idealistic picture that I want to be a part of.

Anyway, to all of you a happy, a better, a successful, healthy, positive, “blooming” and fulfilling new year. This year, let us trust, be patient and keep on going (He knows best). At least, that’s what I’ll try my hardest to do.