A fool I was

I wanted to feel something, so I went outside in the rain. 

I took a few steps on my backyard and stopped. The rain was pouring and the water falling on me was heavy. 

I looked up to the sky, it was dark. I spent a moment there, wondering what would happen to me if it turned to a storm, if the wind picks up, if the sky becomes alive with white flashes and loud sounds.

I sneezed, it made me realize. I was soaked to the bone and my body was really cold. I went back inside and fought for warmth through warm baths and hot beverages. 

It was already too late and in the morning, as my head was throbbing and my breathing hard, I thought

To catch a cold instead of feelings, how a fool I was.

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I closed my eyes and pray 

I closed my eyes and pray.

I prayed the Father who’s in the sky, the Saints that sing his glories, the angels that serve him, the Holy Mother he chose to give birth to his Holy Son.

I closed my eyes and pray. I called for the Holy Spirit, asking for purification, begging for forgiveness, in hope of enlightenment. 

I closed my eyes and pray. I talked “one sidedly” with my ancestors, envisioning their lives, crying for the agonies of those who were sent away from Home. 

I closed my eyes and pray 

And pray

And pray 

And pray 

My eyes were shut so long, my reality escaped me, my eyes were seeing something new, my brain forgot my environment, my memory was a blur. 

Why was I praying?  What did I want? What was I expecting? Did I do right? 

I couldn’t figure any of these so, again, 

I closed my eyes and pray 

I can’t smile 

Today, the sun is shining brightly. The birds are shyly singing from not too far, there are a few white clouds in this clear blue sky and all the colors seem to vividly pop. It’s the perfect get together day between friends and family. 

Reunited since a long time, there are some people here that I had completely forgotten about, their existence erased from my mind, so this little event was really nostalgic and welcomed. I reconnected with friends, school mates, estranged family, so much people that had slipped my mind. So many interactions, I got overwhelmed and got a little me time, sitting on a near lonely bench, to recover. 

It felt weird how this bench was put alone, half surrounded by flowers and half surrounded by a wall. I closed my eyes and relax but at this precise moment, I heard my name. I open my eyes and see him : my lovely, goofy boyfriend. A bit chubby, he’s nice, funny, average looking and so freaking friendly. He’s always surrounded by people and always gets you to do the most unlikely things ever. For example, on our first date, we went mountain climbing. To be quite sincere, I put on a brave face but I really thought I’d die. Oh God, the things you’d do to impress some boy but I really, truly, sincerely liked him already. 

He was walking to me, a big smile on his face then fell unexpectedly. He looked confused and brushed it off and so did I. We went back to the people but my eyes were always checking on him because I’ve been noticing a few odd things. First of all, he wasn’t smiling, it was the first time I never saw him grinning in more than 30mn. It kind of worried me. Second of all, he stopped talking, he’d briefly nod or say monosyllabic words but that was it. I thought he bumped his head harder than I thought and quickly suggest him to go to the hospital but he reassured me again that he was fine, only a bit tired from his all nighter at work the day before. I gave up but brought him home so he could rest and as soon as I saw his innocent sleeping face, I called an ambulance. It would have been impossible for me to move him so I opted for that easiest solution. 

They were pissed I called them on a hunch but the paramedics gave in to my pleas and drove him to the hospital. I talked to some doctor and as he was waking up, stunned by his relocation, the doctor made him do a few exercises. Which he couldn’t do at all. In a state of immediate emergency, the doctor took him to the OR and left me worried sick. I didn’t know what was going but I could guess that it was a grave concussion or something.

A few hours later, a surgeon came to talk to me, he explained that my boyfriend’s brain was practically swimming in blood, apparently, one of his arteries had ruptured. My shock was immediate, I felt so grateful that I had brought him here in time. The doctor said that the operation went well but he was still sleeping, recuperating. They couldn’t possibly inform me on the outcome of the operation until he opened his eyes. 

I spent days at his side, taking care of him, of the room, talking to him. Thankfully, I was on paid leave and his insurance as well as his work were covering the medical bills. I prayed and horrendously watched his brain decayed until the cerebral activity was no more. The doctors were short and brutal : there was no more hope. I cried, alone, beside him, alongside his family, with friends. They asked me what I wanted to do but I couldn’t just give up on him. “Whatever you choose”, I said, “I’ll always side with life, I’ll never lose faith, so you better not include me in the decision making cause I’m blindsided.”

They decided to officially end it all, he was clinically dead after all. As they unplug him, I was right beside him, holding his hands, keeping my tears to myself. Later on, while watching the empty bed, I wonder if he suffered, if he felt the agony of being out of air, if we did the right thing, if I did let them kill him, if I helped in condemning him to death before giving him the chance to struggle and reach out. 

His funerals were hard on me, I was surprised that I had more tears left to cry. It was held in a little church on a cold rainy day, everything seemed gray and lifeless to me… as he was… My tears were warm but couldn’t possibly rise my freezing body’s temperature. I shivered. I couldn’t believe he was really gone. I had lost him and I wished I was some kind of psychic so I could see or feel his spirit. I eventually accepted my lack of supernatural talent and gradually moved on but I never got him out of this cozy place in my heart. 

Past the deadline 

You gave me one week to seriously think about it, to analyze thoroughly your proposition and take a decision. You made me promise to think it through, to dream about it, to imagine the option you were offering but I postponed it. 

I procrastinated this ticking idea without thinking of the consequences, I impulsively put myself in a corner, the last minute corner. I had forgotten all about it and when I saw the clock, it reminded me of the time that had passed. I rushed to the calendar, hoping for a few more days as I was searching for the written entry. 

I had been in complete oblivion and denial for one entire week. When I looked at the time, it was 11 and the day hadn’t officially ended but I distastefully remembered that it was already the morning for you. 

You lived across the planet, so far away from me and you probably watched the sun clean away the night from the sky, waiting for my call, at the same time it washed away all my hopes and desires of being yours again. 

Your wedding probably took place uninterrupted, smoothly and as it ended, all of your feelings for me had to slip away from your heart. I’m a fool for letting love go away, I’m an idiot for taking time for granted and I’m stupid for giving life the golden opportunity to rip me out of your mind and to snatch you from me. 

The storm 

There was a big storm coming that day. The weather news was on repeat everywhere. “Be careful, do not stand near windows or anything made of glass.. “

I remembered hurrying up home to my wife. It had been a week since she was sick. She was so weak, she would end up  exhausted in bed before 8 every night. 

“Remain vigilant, the storm will hit the city at 7:30 sharp, do not take on the road or drive. Please unplug all your electronic devices as well, there’s a high risk of lightning… “

I would leave her medicine close to her night stand every morning along with her breakfast and I would get dinner delivered to her at 5pm everyday. I was really worried, I never thought she was bearing such a weak and fragile body. The medicine seems to be effective only throughout the day until 7. After that, she’d have to rest to properly recover from the day strain on her body. 

“If any of you would be in a dangerous situation, do not use your phone. The cables are prone to lightning attacks too… If you think your house is not safe enough, we have many refuge centers-“

Finally, I was home. It was 5:41. I wanted to come early so I could reinforce the house in order to resist the storm. I wish I hadn’t come that early that day. What I saw… My wife… Under a young energetic stud… Making wild love like animals… No wonder her body couldn’t withstand throughout the day. When you undergo such passion, there’s no way you’d be able to stand after. 

“Alert!  Alert!  The storm is about to hit the city! Please take refuge in a safe and secure place.. “

I ran quietly outside. I didn’t let her know I was there. Before that, I took a few pictures, to convince myself that it had happened. My wife really have a lover. My wife is having an affair. I walked aimlessly in the streets until a young civil servant dragged me to a football stadium that had been transformed into a refuge center. As the wind violently hit the stadium, shaking the structure, I wonder if my wife was doing okay. Obviously, they didn’t know about the storm otherwise they wouldn’t still be at it like monkeys so close to the hit time. The night at the center was horrifying between the people’s afraid screams and my torturing thoughts, I never slept. 

In the morning, as the sun was warmly shining over the city and the sirens were louder than the birds, I headed to my workplace, thankfully it was still standing. This same afternoon, I filed for divorce and forwarded the pictures to my attorney. I never went back to my house. Our love was an illusion of mine and I didn’t want to see my depraved wife. 

I transferred to another city and started over there as a widower because I didn’t want to believe that my wife had been playing me for this long.  I prefer to think that she died in the storm. 

#MiracleChallenge : Week – 8

3. Write a Short Story using below three prompt words-

* ROAD     * EFFECTIVE     *  ILLUSION

Failed Parade 

​By the time a working fire engine arrived, it was too late. The parade in the honor of the fallen firefighters had ended and my job had been taken from me. 

I only had one thing to do and it was to make sure that the parade went on perfectly. And the main attraction, the real fire engine that drove the 10 firefighters, who lost their lives into a pharmaceutical lab that caught fire due to the burning chemicals, couldn’t get to the parade in time. We had to use another one and, at the moment it arrived to the end of the parade, I received a call from my supervisor firing me. Man, what a stupid day, it has been.

 
#MiracleChallenge : Week – 8

Challenge No : 1
Write a Short Story using prompt sentence :

“BY THE TIME A WORKING FIRE ENGINE ARRIVED, IT WAS TOO LATE.”

You’re everywhere 

I’m on verge of losing my mind 

All I can think about is you 

When I close my eyes, I can see you. 

I stay away from you, yet you’re everywhere I am, everywhere I go, everywhere I was.

I can’t visit any of my memories, any of my spots, talk to any of my chums, you knew them all, you impregnated them. 

I wanna stop. Stop being related to you. 

I wanna start anew, have a fresh start far away from you but it’s like you can track me, like we’re magnetized and so attract each other. 

And now, all I can think about is to go meet you, see you, smell you, intake you all, all for myself until I can become you. 

Forget about my bad history with you, let’s do new more messed up memories baby until I can’t get up. 

Because I failed to totally reject you. My drugs abuse shall start all over again. 

Defrauding 

If I cheat on a cheater, what does it make me? 

I have an easygoing personality because I just let you do whatever you want as long as it doesn’t bother me but I also have a difficult character because as much as you offer yourself to me, as much of you that I “own”, I get possessive and suspicious. 

It’s in my nature not to trust people, specially men since I’ve come to been raised this way by my irresponsible of a father. The biggest impact he’ll ever leave on me is how the choice of a partner is something must be done thoroughly. Even a once time thing with the wrong individual could put you in so much misery, you’d wish you never spoke to this person. 

I wonder if I cheat on myself, what will it qualifies me as. If I betray my values and ignore my criterias. If I go on the opposite way I’d have normally despised, I wonder. And if I go even deeper in this concept, if I betray the new path I took and go another way,  getting me further and further away from the principles I had at the start, what would that make me? 

I bet two

I caught one wonderful fish in the sea. 

It’s sparkly, it’s pretty, its scales are round, sleek and smooth. 

It adorns many vivid and nacreous colors. When put under the sun, it shines beautifully. 

I bought a big aquarium,  I decorated it and put in premium algae. In that beaming interior, the fish looks even more beautiful, it’s like a fish kingdom with it as a queen. 

I bragged about it to all my friends, in all the circles I hang out. They wouldn’t believe me, they asked for proof and I showed her off. My precious possession. 

My friends and acquaintances got jealous and bitter. They badmouthed me and said that it was mere luck that I caught it. They said that I couldn’t ever catch another one like it again. 

I took the bet. So I went to a good spot and started fishing. I waited and waited and finally caught something. It wasn’t a fish but it was an injured jellyfish. 

I was afraid at first that she would hurt me but it seemed like she couldn’t due to her condition. 

I was afraid my fish would get uncomfortable with the jellyfish so I made her her own tank by taking a little space in the fish’s aquarium, her habitat wasn’t as beautiful as the one I gave my first sea prize but it was liveable. I treated the jellyfish, comfort it her and little by little, I gained her trust and she started shining under my touch or when she knew I was looking. 

I started spending quality time with her but the fish would get lonely and her colors would fade so I’d go back to her but then the jellyfish would throw tantrums and electrify her tank, leaving a mess for me to clean later. 

But I still kept her because she was beautiful and entertaining. Both of them wouldn’t let anyone else near them and my friends got jealous again. They said I was only able to tame the jellyfish because she was wounded. So I bet the happiness I had with these two and confidently went fishing again. But little did I know that the jellyfish had broken the panel separating her from my queen and they they both have met.

When I came back home with an ordinary eel, the water in the aquarium was dim, I rushed there and none of my catch was there. They let themselves be taken and I would never see them again. 

And to this day, I still regret it painfully. 

My world is you. 

My first memory of you talking to me 

Was that of a long line of angry customers waiting for me to finally cash your products.

You kept flirting with me, asking for discounts, saying cute things that made me blush and crush all my defenses. 

At the grocery store, at the pharmacy, at the bookstore, at the game center, at the private pool and gym, you keep popping everywhere the poor me works always flirting, always asking for the next free thing. 

I’m not that stupid, I know you only talk to me because of the perks, I know you wouldn’t even look at me if I didn’t have any of those jobs. I see the girls that come around you, I see the ones you put your arms around, I see the one you pin to the wall and touch with your hand all over even in public. But I don’t care, it’s the only way I can get your attention, the only way I can get you to notice me. So I will take even more part-time jobs, at a men’s clothes store, at a sports specialized store, the liquor store,  wherever you shop. 

This sexy smile when you look at me while you ask for coupons, the short wink you do that makes me feel like time stops, your passionate gaze that burns me and those lips from which come such sweet words. I will do whatever possible to keep enjoying them, to monopolize them, you for those few minutes in which I am your world. I only need those few minutes to live on for hours and even days so I will selfishly do my best to make them happen.