Someone, another and me

Someone told me I was sad

Another told me I had the blues

Someone told me to get it over with

Another told me I was just being lazy

Someone doesn’t speak to me anymore

And another told me I was a shut in

Someone told me I was just a hypocrite

Another told me to get over myself

That person doesn’t speak to me anymore

Someone told me I had been cared for too much

Another told me I was the embodiment of my generation

Someone told me I was just being irresponsible

Another added unreliable

Both don’t speak to me anymore

Someone told me I do it all for the attention

Another told me they were evil thoughts

Someone told me I was being ungrateful

Another told me it was because I was privileged

Yet another one doesn’t speak with me anymore

I tell myself all of those. I brew it in my head as soon as something goes wrong. I think of all the people I’ve lost. I conclude that I’m undeserving and worthless. I can’t think of a reason why things are this way, I figure out it’s because of me. It’s because I’m me. I’m thinking how unlucky my parents were to end up with me. I’m thinking how many lives and people I have changed, touched in a negative way because, it’s obvious, I’m me. I think God is the only one who loves me unconditionally, He has to but when the times come, will He choose me? Then my head empties and I can’t think, I don’t feel.. Life continues on.. I still can’t feel..

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