I’m thinking how difficult it is to just trust someone and how more difficult it is to open up to someone. All those expectations that you have of a new friend and all of what is expected from you to be to that person. It’s exhausting to explain, it’s indelicate to ask and it’s infuriating to be patient. And that’s where casual hookups come in.
It’s enough to have someone you only have this one thing with that makes you understand each other and be comfortable around the other, like your language learning buddy or your coworkers. Someone you can still freely talk to but not have to get deep and heavy with or at least not more than what you share in common (hard to not get deep and heavy if you’re both attending the same AA meetings for example). Just casual occasional conversation that doesn’t have to lead anywhere, that doesn’t imply an involving future in each other’s life. A bit shallow or superficial and maybe even pointless but it’s like a midnight snack or having sweets for breakfast, doesn’t it just make you happy?