Sometimes I have little things bothering me. Finding a good hair salon. Futile, mundane, vain, superficial.. But they still bother me. Getting pierced and not having an infection. If it looks that way to me, useless to say how worse it looks to the outside world. Some of them make me really anxious. Dining in a posh restaurant for the first time. Some of them brings me microseconds of happiness. A lipstick color that suits me.
Every single time, I pray desperately so it goes well. I pray and pray, almost giving God ultimatums. Their final outcome have enough impact on me to make me feel God’s presence or even go as far as resent Him. And those aren’t things you can speak openly to anybody. You do know there are kids dying of hunger in Africa right? I am fully aware of that but it won’t make my problems go away. Instead of worrying about such worthless things, why don’t you do something helpful or meaningful? It’s not that I don’t understand that, otherwise I wouldn’t be annoyed but it just matters to me anyway and I’d wish, from the bottom of my heart, for it to go well.