I feel like I should put out there that I’m really a rather complicated, unpredictable, sometimes impassive individual.
I’m often told that I’m cold, that I have a metallic icy stare, that it’s difficult to know what I’m thinking at the moment, that I’m indifferent and hard to deal with. But that just depends of my mood or if you’re a stranger or not. I get friendly with the ones close to me but it does happen that they complain about what I stated above too.
If I’m in friendly mood, I’ve been told that I would get irritatingly excited, like I overdo it. Any way I look at it, it seems like someone always has something to say about my behavior.
This doesn’t affect me normally but the buildup of the comments and reactions together with my depression crisis lower my opinion of myself and my self-esteem. This is something I have to admit.
I remember this quote of Aristotle from Politics :
Man is by nature a social animal; an individual who is unsocial naturally and not accidentally is either beneath our notice or more than human. Society is something that precedes the individual. Anyone who either cannot lead the common life or is so self-sufficient as not to need to, and therefore does not partake of society, is either a beast or a god.
I may want to live alone, I can do my best to do so but sooner or later I will want to feel the presence of my peers because humans are naturally attracted to each other, we will always try to stick to one another and our isolation will affect us some way or another. Well that applies to me too, I may not give two cents about your opinion on me today but someday it will surely get to me and your last comment will be the straw that breaks the camel’s back.
It’s no good to push someone over and over until this person snaps, you don’t know if you’ll be able to live with the consequences that will follow.