Fears – Before and After

I got a lot of fears. When I was younger, I was afraid my parents would think I’m too naughty and threw me out. I was also afraid they’d like my baby brother more than me and abandon me.  I was mostly afraid God would take away all the good in my life because I sinned too much. I wish those were the fear I have now.

Nowadays, I’m afraid two countries might blow some steam and start another world war. I’m afraid another deadly virus will come to light and have no cure. I’m afraid to walk by myself at night because some creep might be waiting for me or following me. I’m scared that a little rain will transform in a hurricane and a simple heatstroke in a big heat wave. I’m scared that the ices continue melting and that big volcanoes become active.
I’m afraid to leave any history of me on the web so I don’t get hacked or my private life doesn’t get public. I’m afraid to be honest with people so they don’t turn my weaknesses against me. I’m afraid to fall in love with someone because my heart is weak and I’m afraid to let someone cherish me because the doubts never leave me.
I’m scared to make friends whatever their backgrounds because I might be set up or accused of being associated with some criminal. I’m scared to go to church because I know I won’t be able to hide my sins from Him,  I’m afraid of His forgiveness as much as I’m afraid of His indifference.

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