My eyes are shutting
But I don’t want to lose to him
I promised I would take the night shift and I kinda bet that I wouldn’t doze off even once.
Stupid thing of me to do, now I’m struggling with sleep and it’s not even midnight yet.
How did I get in this?
Well, I was so nervous about the idea of meeting my ex roommate next month that I sorta exhausted my mind. If my roommate hadn’t been there, I’d probably still be lying on the floor.
I passed out after frying my brain and when I woke up I was too weak to move or anything but fortunately she had moved me in her bed (God knows how) and she had put a cold patch on my forehead. I always felt awkward towards her because I know she was my roommate’s protegee. She might think she’s been fooling me but I only accepted and kept her around as punishment. I know one day will come when she’ll take her revenge for having destroyed her sponsor’s life. And I was kinda looking forward to it until I reconnected with these two.
Charlotte and I have been talking everyday since then and she just made me part of one of her projects. She needed a supervisor for a weekend camping trip. There were like thousands of kids and I was put on the night duty. Jared laughed at me and teased me saying I couldn’t possibly stay up that late only looking at kids.
Now that I think about it, I shouldn’t have gave in into his provocation. Now not only am I watching over sleeping troubled kids, making sure everyone is indeed safe and sleeping, but I can’t myself take a little snooze and am being monitored by an insomniac fool. Jared was always a light sleeper but when he’s busy or upset, he ends up getting little sleep, sometimes none at all. Charlotte probably put us on the night shift on purpose, she might think something romantic will come out of it now that we’re back to being good friends again. Truth is, I don’t really care if we get involved romantically or not, I’m just so happy we can all be together like this again. Our breakup was messy, unpleasant and upsetting, it left us a really bad memory. I feel so lucky and blessed we got passed that that I wouldn’t even dare of thinking about aiming higher than that. And I most say that I’m also content with just being near him.
Without even realizing it, I had been staring at the direction he took earlier to patrol, I blushed instantly. Thank God, he wasn’t here and couldn’t see. I never really took the time to analyse my feelings for Jared. Since the moment he confessed until the moment I finally reached my goal, all I’ve ever been thinking of was those stupid priorities; and after that, I kinda sunk in regrets and guilt towards both of them.
The light sound of footsteps closing in got me out of my deep thoughts. And there he was, coming back, his tinted glasses hiding his eyes and his messy not-cut-yet hair framing his slender face. Without realizing it again, I was staring, I quickly turned my gaze at the children. We were responsible for all this side of the shelter after all. He had a chair with him, I guess he’s planning on sitting next to me and unwillingly, I blushed again (so immature). I tried to advert my gaze but it seemed like he smirked and just like that, everything around me turned into dust, not even the regular sound of the children’s breath or the monotonic sound of the rain, all that I could see and hear were this man’s presence and my heart’s loud thumping. I felt embarrassed by my childish reaction but everything turned back to normal as I heard his soft voice joking about some night owl’s struggling.
And unwillingly again I smiled and it was like we turned back time to when we used to spend time together, before I screwed up.
My eyes are shutting