I left reality behind

I left reality behind when I chose this path.
I’ve been warned that once I took it there’d be no coming back
But weirdly there was this certainty in the back of my head that I’d make it back somehow if I really wanted to.
The road is torn, has split, misses pieces, goes through scary, terrifying, disturbing, though, tiring, wicked places.
I could make it back but it wouldn’t truly worth it and now that I’m almost done traveling this area, I wonder if I’ll be able to reach my goal, if I’ll be capable to continue pursuing my objective.
My vision that was so clear, that I had clearly defined and developed in a structured detailed plan now is blurry, confusing and all over the place.
And just like that, I wonder if it’s even worth it. I stop, I forget, I remember, I procrastinate.
My conscience is here but my will is gone. My knowledge is still aware but my motivation has long sunk.
I’m not ashamed, not mad, not guilty
I’m not a thing, nothing.


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