I’m truly sorry

This is a letter of apology.
I’m truly sorry for running from myself and my responsibilities, for not seeking any help or not really standing for what I want, and worst never even taking the time to know what I want. To my own self, for countless times I turned my back on you and never looked at you again, I’m so sorry about that.
I apologize for being such a strong-willed, stubborn but yet shy and timid girl whom caused more headaches than anything else. I apologize for making every decision difficult, for being indecisive at the end about the most important things, to have fought so long and so hard with a man who calls himself my father but never truly acts like it when he has to. I am really sorry about my phobias, my multiple flaws, my troubling issues such as depression that I never really took the time to explain to you in the end. To my own family, for mostly being too indecisive, not meeting your expectations, for being such an ill kid in more ways than one, for being troubled by so many matters that I never talked to you about, for never really showing you my suffering self, I sincerely apologize.
I really regret not taking your propositions seriously, for never completely believing you and for putting so much obstacles on this already difficult road. For testing you so many times, for doubting you so many times, for never giving you the spot aside me, for forcing you, in the end, to the sight of my back walking away from you, for not having apologize sooner, for breaking your heart and also a bit of mine, for never really belonging to you but mostly for never accepting the loving and caring you, to my ex-lover I really regret my insensitive words and hurting actions.
For stabbing you so many times I lost count, for always running back to you at hard times, for easily forgetting you, for getting more and more away from you, for never taking the time to try to listen to you anymore, for being a begging ungrateful child, for being a disappointed and unreliable sibling, for being an occasional believer, to my one and only God, I can never apologize enough.
This is a part of a self forgiveness and cure for troubling mental issues that I found on my psychology book. It is said to list your regrets and faults and apologize for them. A crumpling piece only get there because the rotten foundation and core had been ignored so I’m basically ripping off the mold parts of me that constitue my shame, regrets and such so they can’t nourish anymore the me crawled into myself.

Let’s hope it works ✌😜😉


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