What should I do?
I spent hours on the couch, thinking, looking at the pack of smokes, reminding me of her. I thought she’d stay to help. But now that I think of it, she never really liked me, didn’t she?? I guess she was obligated to take care of me since I’m her sister’s kid but that’s all there was to it, wasn’t it? Didn’t I just heard something growling? What could it be? Oh right, I haven’t eaten yet. I tried to stand up but immediately fell on the couch. I forgot I was still anemic, I’m way too weak. It’s dark outside, maybe I should order something and hope it’s not too late for deliveries. I can’t find my cellphone. God! I need to pull myself together.
I took a deep breath and stood up again. My head was a bit dizzy, I walked to the phone, leaning sometimes on walls and called to the diner for takeout. We don’t do deliveries, she said but I guess I could bring you your order home for today. Although I felt the pity and sympathy in her voice, I was really glad because I needed to eat. I gathered all the courage I had within me and made it to the front porch where I sat on the first stairs. I was really tired and couldn’t stopped my eyes from closing.
When I opened them, some woman was gently shaking me, calling my name. I jumped, surprised. She made a step back and explained she was the one I spoke to earlier, from the diner. I smiled and thanked her. As I was looking for money in my pockets, she added that I didn’t need to pay, she then gave me the food, told me to take care and took off in her pick up. I couldn’t stand so I ate on the porch, the food wasn’t too bad but it wasn’t the right choice for my current state of health. Who cares anyway…. Oh is that wine? Did she put that too?? She must really pity me to break the law…
Last thing I remembered.
When I opened my eyes, it was already morning, sun was shining directly to my field of vision. When I finally decided to get up, there was that huge mess next to me, the garbage made of leftovers, some wine, what seemed to be puke (apparently I was right about it not fitting my diet) and the packages they came in with. Ah, that was pathetic. I rubbed my eyes and yawned, as I was stretching a bit, my eyes hazardously caught the neighbor’s gaze who was probably concerned about the look of all that mess. He quickly looked away. I picked myself up, cleaned myself up a bit and took a long look around. Great morning, at least it seemed like it. I cleaned the mess on the porch, went inside, took a bath, got dressed and headed outside. I had to take my supplements but since I didn’t have breakfast yet, I had to do some grocery shopping. A couple hours later, I felt full and a bit refreshed. I drunk reluctantly a glass of milk and started going through the bills. By the end of the day, I already had organized everything. Next thing to do was to take appointments with the different parties involved. I emailed my supervisor, asking for a couple days off which he agreed to but it was limited to three days starting the day after tomorrow. We were monday so I’d get the week off. It was really nice of him to do that. The next two days, I got busy, making deals and promises. As a matter of fact I did save the house and decided with the bank to rent it. That money will directly go to the bank for the next thirty years, unless I got other options to pay. I sold a lot of house stuffs but it still wasn’t enough. I had only resolved half of the debt problem. What to do next? And I also had to pay for college. Luckily there was my father’s insurance, it would cover a bit of the debt but I discovered that the beneficiary got changed to my dear aunt who would also act as a guardian. Oh the sneaky woman. She played me well, didn’t she? I spent the rest of the week trying to revoke that decision and only ended up getting directly and personally half of it. It wasn’t that bad though, I could have been completely disowned. I put my stuffs into a storage midway from home and college. I sold the car to a dealership, I got them to take me to the train station though. I didn’t get to visit my father’s grave but I promised to return as soon as I could with my mother’s remains, which I’d probably scatter on his grave. It was already late when I got to the apartment. I went directly to bed, fortunately she wasn’t in the living room, I wasn’t really eager to talk right now.
I woke up early tomorrow morning so I wouldn’t have to face her yet, I ate at a coffee shop nearby and went to work.
I was a bit distracted but I got a bunch of work done. At the end of the day, I got called to the supervisor’s office, he basically said that my work would invest in my future and pay my next semester tuition, it would be a bit of a loan and a long-term contract between the company and I. I was so happy. I thanked him and went home, a smile on my face. When I got there, I found my roommate reading. We chatted a bit and she told me diner would be ready soon. I took a shower in the meantime, by the time I was dressed, she knocked on the door and announced diner was served. We had a normal conversation and I told her about the tuition, she didn’t smile but she did congratulate me. I remember thinking it was a bit weird then but I was so relieved. I caught up a bit on my readings for work then went to sleep. Tomorrow morning, everything was normal, we ate breakfast together, she took her daughter to one of the daycare centers nearby then we headed to work. As we got to the front door, we saw our supervisor, he opened the door for us. I remember thinking gallantry so early in the morning, what a great way to start the day. The week went by fast and everything was going smoothly. As I was about to head home, the supervisor invited us to dinner so we could celebrate getting over tough times successfully. My roommate tried to refuse, saying she had to pick up her daughter from daycare but the supervisor insisted, saying it wouldn’t take long. We went to a restaurant nearby, the waiter identified the supervisor pretty quickly and led him to a table near the window, the view as the sun was slowly setting was gorgeous. To have such a place on a constant reservation probably meant that this restaurant was chosen by the company to conduct business affairs. We had a lively time together but for some reason, I felt like my roommate was a bit uncomfortable. The supervisor wanted to treat us to drinks too but my roommate politely and firmly declined, “my daughter is waiting”, she said and bid us farewell. As she was about to take a taxi, I told her to wait for me and said my goodbyes to the boss too, stating that I had to go back home early tomorrow. We went back home quietly. She offered to pay the taxi and as I was waiting for her, I could swear my eyes caught someone familiar entering the building across the street. I chased that thought and smiled at her as I thanked her. She looked at me seriously and simply nodded. When we got to our apartment, she put her stuffs in her room and asked me if nothing weird happened to me recently. I laughed and said good things weirdly happened to me this week. She smiled and told me to be cautious then went to pick her daughter.
What could that be about? Isn’t she the one that had been behaving weirdly these past days? Maybe I should talk to her about it? What do you think mom??
Was I thinking as I hold my mother’s urn.
What should I do?