I want to… But how to?

Crossing my mind over and over again, making me feel like its the key to my happiness, literally stalking my dreams, even getting me to daydream… it’s grey hair.

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I don't know who she is, I just found it on Google

Yes, I do want to dye my hair grey. God knows I don’t even have a reason for it anymore. It became an obsession. The more time passes, the more I get found of it. If I don’t do it, I feel like I might get resentful.
Sure it’s one of the coolest trends out there but right where I live, each time I mention it, people start looking at me like I’m crazy. Why don’t you do some blonde highlights? Do you have to follow that trend??  Or You have some crazy ideas! But I’m like, I know it’s bold, I know it’s unconventional, heck yeah it seems crazy cool. That’s it! I’ve made up my mind. I want it grey.
I’ve been taking good care of it for almost two years, it’s in great condition, now it’s the best time ever. That was all the convincing myself part, I concluded I want it, I will achieve it.

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But now, HOW?
That’s like the million dollar question. For over two months, I thought the toughest part would be to actually found grey hair dye but little did I know that such a thing didn’t exist (I feel like a fool right now for pressuring some friends and family to pick it up for me while I was unable to).
Strangely, no one could find it, and I was like why are you making so many excuses, there’s nothing hard about going to a store and picking up grey hair dye! So I relieved everyone of them of – what I thought at the time was- their one little duty (God please forgive me, I really didn’t know).
When I got in contact with reality, face palm, literally. I couldn’t find it anywhere!  I went from stores to stores in the area, nothing. If I thought I was being judged before to get my recent daring dream to come true, well now I felt like I was jumping from a court to another in which the judge would always look at me like I might have lost a few branches.
Truth is the trend wasn’t really popular here and people only cared to cover grey, not to bring it out of full black hair.
I felt like such an idiot. While my friends and family were, let’s say, gloating, my expectations were crushed. Now more than ever, people were telling me to lock that desire away and throw it out to the sea.
Oh no! I thought, I’m getting it done. So I did the only reasonable, logical thing to do :
– I took my phone
– Opened Google and YouTube
– And start searching for how to achieve
   grey hair dye on black hair.
I think that’s when I lost most hope. So many people telling you so many different things. So many products, so many advices, so many articles. I felt overwhelmed. What to choose? What to do?  Can I even stay on budget?
I cooled down, almost depressing, almost seeing my dream fading away. Then I thought why not try to get a professional to do it for me? Great idea, I thought at the moment. This can only be resolved by a professional.

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I got crushed again. People were aware of the trend but no one knew how to achieve it. They were all suggesting other safer and doable dyes. But the heart wants what it wants and my heart wants my black hair to be stripped out for some grey dye. At that point, my friends were getting bored of me despairing of a way to finally get my hair grey. Some would even told me I was unnerving. The struggle had never been more real. I felt alone against the world. And I was about to convince myself it wasn’t a big deal. It was just some hair dye, some great gorgeous hair color, but just some hair color. I was even having some thoughts on an ash blond balayage or some light brown ombre, it looked beautiful. But then it hit me, it wasn’t a big deal! Really! It was a hair color. Achievable even by me or by someone trustworthy that I would have “forced” 😈 to watch videos and read some articles on how to do it.
And without further ado, I got it planned. I should start the process this week or, at last, this weekend.
Fingers crossed, everything should turned out well and I’ll be left with a beautiful not-too-damaged grey hair. 😊

“I guess what they say it’s true, perseverance is the key.”

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